2. The Date is set
Just like before setting out on a date, you first have to get the right outfit to wear to the interview. You don’t want to look too flashy, too casual or too uptight. You want to mix it all up and leave the employer just like your suitor, wishing to see a tad more of where that came from. You look good, now you have to smell good. One of the longest moments in life thus causing perspiration is waiting to be called next into the interviewing room, same way waiting on that guy to show up. FYI, a man who is going to keep you waiting should be deducted at least some 10 points with immediate effect. Always carry your deo, body splash or perfume in your bag. No man will settle for a woman who smells like boiled ‘murenda’. Same way no employer will let a person with such an odor sit in their office, let alone at a desk near theirs.
You are now at the interview; it feels just like being on a date. Your first hope is to impress. Second hope is that you become the chosen one. You don’t want to go through a dozen job applications and interviews to get the right one, you just hope to be lucky to get that one job. Same way, you don’t want to spend a lifetime going on dates with frogs hoping to stumble on a prince; you just want to get that prince, even if it means settling down with the frog.
You have cleaned up nicely. It’s time to speak. You better have brushed your teeth. Bad breath sucks for any conversation, even worse when you might get kissed. Just like a date, at the interview; you find that measuring what comes out of your mouth is paramount. If you ever suffered from verbal diarrhea, this is the worst place to lose control over your bowels, so to say. At both scenarios; you don’t need to say something that won’t necessarily augment on your resume. In other words, don’t volunteer to give irrelevant information. Your employer will care that you are quite the ‘sporty type’ only if you are being interviewed to be a tour guide. On the other hand, if your date is a bouncer or the dude from the movie 127 Hours, then he will care that you rock sports. The vibes about having gone topless at the Maasai Mara, then the one about sleeping in Naivasha’s Hell Gate’s gorge, keep them to yourself. One day when you are best buddies with your boss and you are having drinks, you will unleash them then. As for your date, if you clinch on that lay, these will serve as interesting topics for pillow talk.
4. Grace period
After the date, and the interview; it’s the long await. Is the employer going to call? Is the suitor going to call? Sleepless nights and countless days, a bundle of nerves later and you are still staring at your phone. You finally get that call. “We would love to have you work with us!” He called and said that he really enjoyed the time he spent with you and would definitely love to see you again. Anyone know what time it is? *Swizz Beatz voice* It’s exactly Kemboi-dance o’clock 🙂
5. Months into the new Job / Relationship
You are getting used to the new environment. Same way, you are getting accustomed to having your man around. You are getting trained on how things are done at the new office, you have a new routine, probably a whole new set of duties. Same with your man, he is not like the rest. I mean, that’s why you settled in with him. There is a way he likes his things done, and to be done; to say the least. You get with the program.
The ‘new office’ is now just your office. When you envy other offices or look for other jobs, they are like potential mistresses. You get that strong feeling that you are cheating. You have settled down with your prince. Sex is good, communication is even better. Talk is cheap so most times you are both busy doing stuff for each other. Your eye however can’t stop from appreciating other fly brothers. They want to flirt with you, sometimes you want to do the same, actually you do it once in a while; no sooner do you indulge than you get that guilty feeling that you are cheating.
7. Job/ Relationship satisfaction
Sometimes it’s not just working for you at the office, so you keep your ears on the ground and eyes high up like a hawk hoping to see a new venture. Other times everything is cool you just feel like you wouldn’t mind an additional freelance gig, so you go ahead and indulge in the side hustles. Same way, your relationship is on a plateau. Your man’s loving is consistent and you need a rocky motion, so you lose concentration. All of a sudden all the men around your life look like Biko Adema and Michael Early. Your man isn’t satisfying you like he used to. If he is, sometimes you just want to taste other waters to gauge if they are as fresh. So you either take a chill pill or take on into that affair.
Love your job like your man for they are painstakingly similar from Day 1. If by any chance you pass the 7 steps; do not cheat for it takes a lot of calculation. If you intend to grow old with that fly brother or frog (If that’s all you found), advance your relationship so one day it becomes a lifelong commitment. If you intend to grow into your job, aim for the stars as the sky might fall.