I was looking for a nice local place to just run away to with my friends and just have fun in the name of celebrating my 23rd Bday and we all unanimously agreed on Mombasa. As much as it sounds cliché’, so is everything in life so our challenge is to keep doing the same things over and over again but in different strokes.

This trip’s culprits in the picture beside are from far left my best boy Chimano, my best cousin Miss JJT , my best girl Bunny and Ken. Bday was on Saturday Sept 4th, departure from Nairobi Thur night on the 10 P.M bus.

Up until around 9 p.m on Thur, we all hadn’t communicated at all, everyone was having a busy day, well i was at work doing the website till around 6pm then i had to rush home to pack and meet MissJJT on our way back to town, Chim had been in the studio whole day as Sautisol were still polishing up on their 2rd album, Bunny was bumming at home ….

When MissJJT and I got to town at around 9.30pm it started pouring, it was annoying and we were so damn hungry so i called Chim and he said that he was just leaving the studio, if we could get him some food. What do you know? Next pittstop was ALTONA, y’all must be wondering what’s that place, well look for it, the cleanest and cheapest fries in town! On our way to the bus pick up at the Shell petrol station on University way, we met a psychopath dirty man on Biashara Street who was practically chasing after us and we were pulling our suitcases! I almost put the damn suitcase on my head, am a Luo chick nway haha but we eventually lost the psychopath..

We all met at the pickup point a few minutes past 10 p.m and then came the HORIZON bus! I could blog about just the bus ooohhh dont even know where to start! First of all, ALL the sexy Italian men who dont fly to Mombasa take this freaking bus! You know how i live in Eastlands, well i like to call it Upper Easide, and the mats love to beba excess with sweaty ass people’s makwapas stinking, making you choke through the whole trip, this bus was the complete contrast! The men were a sight (the good kind) they made the bus smell so good, ooh how expensive cologne smells yummy, the ambiance just right, the windows had cute little curtains, the seats even had cushy cushions for the extra comfort, what more? They even had a t.v showing Sherlock Holmes and that reminds me of when my friends and I first watched that movie in the theatres, i fell asleep, I mean who sleeps during an action movie, well am special like that!

Sasa it was our first time to travel in the Horizon bus okay, except for MissJJT and that explains why she was the one who recommended the bus! Ushamba, we had carried sijui fries and chicken in papers, sijui pet sodas and crisps, little did we know that the bus even had a hostess and a white steward boy! Haha, sasa as we were eating our fries the hostess came to ask, “Will you have some coffee, tea, and chocolate? We also have soda and snacks if you want…” It’s no wonder the fare to Mombasa was 1,300 so we had paid for the food and drinks why not have them? Heh trust me we had everything, hogging all the way, not to mention we made so much noise for the bourgeoisie people in the bus but what the heck! Just before i blacked out, Mum called me to say, “Wishing you all a great trip, you are all young and should always live to enjoy the moments” I love my mum.

Bunny woke me up when we got to Mtito wa Ndei and we all got out for a little strawl and a smoke, it was quite a chilly night. We were finally on Mombasa’s outskirts at around 5.45 a.m when the hostess woke us up for breakfast, I love Horizon bus and the driver, he was so keen and slow, it’s definitely the safest bus to take on a long trip!

Our friend from Coast the Prez Hassan was sending a driver to come pick us at the Horizon office in Mombasa. Check out that gist, that’s MissJJT and Chim waiting at the reception, they look like they are at an airport. The culprits were so impatient all the time asking me why i agreed to Hassan picking us, they all wanted to take a mat to the hotel but i insisted on us waiting! Well, finally the driver got there and whisked us away to the hotel. No sooner had we gotten into the car than it started raining heavily! Then everyone was thanking me that they didn’t take the mat, in my heart i said “Yeah, don’t thank me now, thank me later *Drake voice*” haha

Our hosts were yet again the infamous Milele beach hotel, well apart from the fact that it’s a non-alcoholic zone because they are a Christian institution and their pathetic breakfast that evidently missed sausages, we really love that hotel because:

  • It’s situated right by the beach, so if you get too crazy why not jump into the ocean at night.
  • The rooms are too neat and homely, the even had a balcony and so many closets to fit our clothes and alcohol haha
  • It has two bigass swimming pools and a fancy pool bar that unfortunately only had chicken wings and soda uuuurgh!

Back to the arrival, here is a pixx of the culprits arriving at the hotel in style, I like 🙂 Apparently some people hadn’t checked out of our booked rooms so the hotel put us in some cottage that was cool until we didn’t like the bathtub, it didn’t look too good.. But wait, what we didn’t like at all was some loudass gospel music right outside our door, you remember the choir gospel kind of songs sang by like the whole church in uniform like in those funny music videos? Apparently there was some church choir shooting a music video right outside our cottage, now that was a daytime nightmare! We didn’t sleep at all!

At around 10 a.m. when we couldn’t take it any more of the singing, we left for breakfast and to get our rooms. The breakfast was whack but we finally got our real rooms, SWEET! Between around midday to 5pm, we were in the rooms unpacking, just bonding, well except for Chim who seemed to have found a best friend in Bunny’s PS 2! We had planned to destroy that game, look at him! Well, he is lucky it ran outta charge!

At around 6 pm, we left for Msa town to have dinner, gosh we had been starving!! We didn’t want to eat the food at the hotel because it wouldn’t have been any different from food in Nairobi, we wanted Swahili dishes so we had to wait till evening because it was September during the month of Ramadhan so there wasn’t really any food available in town hotels till then!

FRIDAY NIGHT

Wasn’t the hotel lovely? Nway in the evening we hopped into a mat to town and on the way there was drama, this man had gotten in kumbe he didn’t have money so he starts to explain his situation, what!? In Nairobi , you don’t explain anything if you don’t have money in the mat, and the driver said to the makanga, “Basi mwie radhi huyo, lakini msera siku nyingine kama hauna pesa unasema kabla kupanda gari” LOL

As soon as we got to town, we got HORIZON bus tickets for Sunday night and then we were off to Island Dishes deep into Mombasa town…..

The warm breeze and humid air feeling against my skin really did it for me, that’s exactly what I was looking for! The calm on the Mombasa streets was just but a sight, no unnecessary hooting, stealing, well there isn’t any stealing that’s necessary but am just saying, it was relieving to be away from the big bad city!

When we got to Island dishes we were so hungry, we were spoilt for choice! The hot waiter in a white kanzu recommends that we should have Bririani Kuku! Ooooohhh that was ill! Especially with the fresh juice, I had Tamarind and guess what? The juice was just 50 bob! Damn extortionists wa Nairobi! But you never realize how big your kuku was until you have had enough! We got sooo full, we promised each other we wouldn’t eat biriani again in Coast and true to our word, we never!

From dinner we had extensive arguments to what w would do next, i had wanted us to go to Nyali cineplex to watch some freaky Harry Porter-ish movie that was showing, I guess my friends felt indebted to my choice because it was my bday trip, I didn’t know that they didn’t want to watch it, so the bright ones like Bunny and Ken feigned having over eaten and they proceeded to the hotel, the rest well, MissJJT, Chim and our Msa friend Omtere had no choice but lucky for them, my boring movie wasnt showing so we ended up watching Grownups! Adam Sandler is really silly! LOL.

Mombasa theatres are really up to standard, it’s no wonder 3D premiered there, anyway next pittstop was right opp. Nakumatt for drinks to last the night, but how would we sneak them into the hotel that was christian?

After buying assorted drinks, i think we had from everything lethal to my Brandy, as we were javing back we decided to drop off at the Pirates beach and walk into the hotel via the back root just in case the guards wanted to ckeck our bags Mssschew felt like high school! Using the beach as the backroot was the best plan we never had! As we were passing by the beach, we noticed lots of guys having fun chilling and unwinding by the lovely venue, we looked at each other and thought why not chill here? So we called Bunny and Ken to join us while we got seats and tables from some beach boys, who also hooked up the best flavoured shisha from coast!

By the time they arrived it was slightly 45 minutes to midnight, my bday! So they decided to fix some cocktails and it was FUUUUUUUUUUUUUN from then! Well, let me see what i can remember! The weather was soooooo nice and warm, the feeling was sooooooo nice and assuring, that nobody would call to send me anywhere and the likes, the company was sooooooooo nice, d had all my best friends, except for Smiles who is n Germany! I remember them singing to me when it got to midnight, oh they made me so drunk i retired at around 4 a.m and left them partying with some Nairobians we met! Thank God our hotel was 5 minutes from the beach!

I was the first to wake up, quite excited that i was officially a year older, so was my Dad, we share a bday! I didn’t have a hangover, well as much! Bunny had the worst hangover LOL, she never drinks Brandy! So after making everyone wake up and prepare to leave for our drive to Malindi, that idiot bringing our car came at 3 pm, we sent him back! We were not gonna leave for Malindi at 3 pm and still make it back to Mombasa for my 2rd party Sato night! Sooooo… we basically rejuvenated till around 5 pm when we left for town, dinner time! And this time, we are talking SHAWARMA! Ohhh too yummy! When we got back to the hotel, we freshened up, put on our dresses and our Mombasa friend Rama came to pick us from the hotel! I was completely oblivious to what was awaiting me/ us!

SATURDAY NIGHT

Ohh we looked so cute in the dresses and the gentlemen well looked presentable! As we arrive at our favourite Mombasa club, FullMoon (Please refer to the Msa mini safari post) we find a group of chics camping at the entrance waiting for our arrival, am for real.

As soon as we get into the club, we are shown to our reserved table and the girls join us, well not that we had a problem! The waitress came and asked me what I was gonna have and I place MY order! MY ORDER!

Later on, there was a surprise banner in the club saying, ‘Happy Bday Anyiko’ Some of the best new coast artists were performing, for me! I think i shed a tear!  And then there was a very cute pink cake! I am really thankful to my Mombasa friends especially Hassan and Rama for having arranged for that surprise party didn’t see it coming! Some Italian man even crushed lotsa plates on the club’s flor for me, apparently that’s a ritual for good luck mmmh.

Later in the night past midnight, i could still hear the DJ playing my songs and chanting my name and all i could think about was, it felt like I had two birthdays! At the beach and now in the club, well i celebrate for two remember? Later we all split, just like people do in clubs and i think Bunny, Ken and the rest of our friends from coast left for Bobs and i was left at Fullmoon with MissJJT and Chim.

We were really grinding on the dance floor when some waitress kept looking for me and MissJJt brought her to the dance floor and i thought to myself wow yet another surprise!? Well it was a surprise but just not what i expected!! She had a bill worth thousands from everyone who had sat at the table with me, remember as soon as we arrived? All those coast girls! I tried to explain to her that everyone should have paid their bill but she could not let me go, she kept insisting how i had to pay since i was the bday girl and they all said that they were with me! They weren’t with me! I was only with my friends damnit!

We had to take that argument off the dance floor, and as heated as it was kept seeing this beach boy looking dude near the counter staring at me and beckoning me with some crazy gestures! He was really distracting me so we took the argument upstairs, so for starters i sent MissJJT to search for the girls in the club while i footed Chim, Bunny, Ken and the rest of our friends who were at Bobs! We were still left with those girls bill and we never found them so we had to pay! Then at that time, some waiter brings me a letter, apparently from that beach boy looking guy, it said,

“Anyiko, i feel to say that i love you, please lets meet at Bobs, then his no.”

I was with MissJJt then, still semi frustrated at having had to pay those girls bill! As soon as I looked up, I saw that guy coming up to me, i just turned to him and said, “Sorry I don’t love you back! Goodbye” and i left! I never looked at his expression but MissJJT says he looked so hurt He just shook his head!

We then left for Bobs, where we could understand why we had to pay to get into a car park outside club at 4 a.m smh! then town to eat pies, we got to the hotel at 5 a.m and I think we saw that letter guy at Bobs! Moral of the story do not sit on the same table with strange girls from Mombasa  onyour bday! And i just remembered we bought a Viceroy boti and had it on our table at FullMoon, can you believe random people in the club who we dont reckon were just coming to our table and pouring themselves a drink without even asking!? Only in Mombasa! LOL

Sunday came and first thing we went to experience the pool waters! That was fun! MissJJT even made a friend! Later we had lunch for the first time at the hotel then went to the beach for a sleep under the umbrellas, MissJJT and I also took the Camel ride, then later on we all went  for a boast ride with two brothers called Dunga and Dula!

I think their personal stories were way more interesting than the thrill of being in the middle of the ocean on a boat with two strangers! They told us how they were born in Lamu and how they later came to Mombasa after  having made that boat to start their business. They said that we call it Mombasa Raha, they call Nairobi Ulaya because they heard that it gets as cold as in Europe! They had never been to Nairobi and they told us how they hoped that they would come here once, we told them that Nairobi want really all that as compared to the cool coast! They could also speak some Italian and French as most of their clients are from oversees!

They also told us how once in a while they embark deep into the sea where its dangerous, but they go there for deep sea fishing! They said it takes weeks, even upto three at times! And MissJJT should have been a journalist, she was asking them if they had wives and how they survive celibacy through three weeks in the middle of nowhere! And Dunga kept saying, “Noo probemmm no problemm, basi huko ni masterbesheni bora unayo shampoo ya kutosha!” Everyone was laughing apart from me, i am slow at times! Haha at least in coast they masturbate using shampoo, si sabuni LOL! In summary we really made good friends with Dunga and Dula, if you ever go to Pirates beach in Mombasa take the green boat with the Safcom ad, p.s its just the one!

After that fascinating  journey, we had ice cream, went back to the hotel took a nap, showered, packed and left the hotel at around 7 pm for town! Dropped our luggage at Horizon, met my gal from coast Nasreesh and left to Marikiti market for dinner right there in the open! I loved their Shawarma better! I could easily get used to that life, swim, ride and eat good food but it was almost 10 pm and time to go take the bus back! We met our friends Aziza, in the bus! They are an upcoming band from Nairobi, apparently they were also in Coast, small world! Our seats were also side to side, how strange!

Well, apart from the comfortable journey back, i didn’t wanna be back at all! Watched Grapevine on Monday and my co- host wished me a happy birthday,  I felt very lucky to have such good peeps in my life ! Special shout out to Hassan, Rama, East Coast crew, MissJJT, Bunny, Chim, Ken, Omtere, Dunga and Dula!

Hey Dad, let’s have even more parties next year Rest in Peace xx